I feel tired and dispirited.
I haven't had a good chat with friends for a long time.
It'll probably pass in a couple of hours... am i running away?
Perhaps i'm just sick and tired of having to put up a strong front.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Inspired
At Sis Ah Girl's house. It's 4 a.m in the morning! And i'm not ready to sleep yet.
Pity that i can't stay longer, but i have our block outing later, and after that Jiehao, James and i'll be pulling out an all-nighter discussion at my house till the next morning. I just feel inspired. Thanks for acceding to my request guys!
I had a great time pitching our business plan to Sis Ah Girl and Bro Ah Di. It really forces me to focus on the idea, think of how to present and clarify it, as well as understand ways to improve it. I can visualize and understand it each time i explore it again. It's like a budding plant, a baby sequoia. And i can see no end to its increasing lushness.
Had an incredibly long session with Ah Di, about video gaming and whatnot. I like one thing he said, about being lonely. He has always liked being a loner, a bachelor, an anarchist.
That's why he's alone alot. But he's not lonely. Being lonely, he thinks, is all in the mind. You can be in the midst of a group of people celebrating your birthday and still feel lonely. People are different, of course. Some people just require others around them to feel fulfilled, to feel wanted. It's all from the individual's personality. And that perhaps leads to introverted or extroverted behavior. I guess i've always had a healthier opinion of the former. Don't empty vessels make the loudest sound?
But if we're feeling lonely most of the time regardless of company, we probably need quite some self-development. Personally, i've been brought up as an alone child in my early days. Besides the weekends with cousins and relatives, and with both my parents at work, i spent much of the week alone. That's why it's perfectly comfortable for me to be alone. And as for being lonely, well, now i have her :) . But i still miss friends whom i can really talk and thrash things out with. Guys like wudao and gaoshan. I wonder if they'll be the same when i see them again. I wish Socrates were alive... ha.
He also talked about leadership as he knew it. We're really similar at this. We appraise our group, and usually take up the initiative to lead if there's no better leader. Not because of an innate desire to stand out and take the glory, but to ensure that things go the way we want it. Like Ah Di, I have never sought to lead for most of my life. There didn't seem much need, i guess, with the talent mills we have at my schools.
But i'm pretty sure my threshold for a satisfactory standard must be kinda high, since now i've been engaging in a fair bit of leadership here and there, pushing for things to happen. It's about how bad you want something, and people around me sometimes just want to work only for as long as they stay in their comfort zones. And i think that's perfectly fine. We should all live our lives the way we want it to be. I haven't seen anyone that superior enough to fairly tell somebody else what to do. (and sometimes it gets disappointing)
And he talked about the sense of accomplishment, when he completes a marathon or improves his work by a huge margin. It's all about beating yourself. They say the greatest competition is always yourself. It's not about the medals you win or the grades you get. And i truly think i haven't been winning against me recently. I want to challenge myself. I want to fight at something. But innately i have a problem: a strong sense of self-protection. I usually don't put in my 100% in something, because it makes me feel raw, like being stranded in the cold snow without a coat. What is left when i put in all my best efforts? What will failure feel like?
Winners don't think of losing. And if they do, they just have to overcome that fear. The way i underestimate my capabilities, i'm doing myself an ill favour. I can go further than this. We can go further than this. This project will be a testament of our very best efforts. And i believe we can win. We will.
Well, i guess that explains my inspiration. One of those runaway trains of thought.
Pity that i can't stay longer, but i have our block outing later, and after that Jiehao, James and i'll be pulling out an all-nighter discussion at my house till the next morning. I just feel inspired. Thanks for acceding to my request guys!
I had a great time pitching our business plan to Sis Ah Girl and Bro Ah Di. It really forces me to focus on the idea, think of how to present and clarify it, as well as understand ways to improve it. I can visualize and understand it each time i explore it again. It's like a budding plant, a baby sequoia. And i can see no end to its increasing lushness.
Had an incredibly long session with Ah Di, about video gaming and whatnot. I like one thing he said, about being lonely. He has always liked being a loner, a bachelor, an anarchist.
That's why he's alone alot. But he's not lonely. Being lonely, he thinks, is all in the mind. You can be in the midst of a group of people celebrating your birthday and still feel lonely. People are different, of course. Some people just require others around them to feel fulfilled, to feel wanted. It's all from the individual's personality. And that perhaps leads to introverted or extroverted behavior. I guess i've always had a healthier opinion of the former. Don't empty vessels make the loudest sound?
But if we're feeling lonely most of the time regardless of company, we probably need quite some self-development. Personally, i've been brought up as an alone child in my early days. Besides the weekends with cousins and relatives, and with both my parents at work, i spent much of the week alone. That's why it's perfectly comfortable for me to be alone. And as for being lonely, well, now i have her :) . But i still miss friends whom i can really talk and thrash things out with. Guys like wudao and gaoshan. I wonder if they'll be the same when i see them again. I wish Socrates were alive... ha.
He also talked about leadership as he knew it. We're really similar at this. We appraise our group, and usually take up the initiative to lead if there's no better leader. Not because of an innate desire to stand out and take the glory, but to ensure that things go the way we want it. Like Ah Di, I have never sought to lead for most of my life. There didn't seem much need, i guess, with the talent mills we have at my schools.
But i'm pretty sure my threshold for a satisfactory standard must be kinda high, since now i've been engaging in a fair bit of leadership here and there, pushing for things to happen. It's about how bad you want something, and people around me sometimes just want to work only for as long as they stay in their comfort zones. And i think that's perfectly fine. We should all live our lives the way we want it to be. I haven't seen anyone that superior enough to fairly tell somebody else what to do. (and sometimes it gets disappointing)
And he talked about the sense of accomplishment, when he completes a marathon or improves his work by a huge margin. It's all about beating yourself. They say the greatest competition is always yourself. It's not about the medals you win or the grades you get. And i truly think i haven't been winning against me recently. I want to challenge myself. I want to fight at something. But innately i have a problem: a strong sense of self-protection. I usually don't put in my 100% in something, because it makes me feel raw, like being stranded in the cold snow without a coat. What is left when i put in all my best efforts? What will failure feel like?
Winners don't think of losing. And if they do, they just have to overcome that fear. The way i underestimate my capabilities, i'm doing myself an ill favour. I can go further than this. We can go further than this. This project will be a testament of our very best efforts. And i believe we can win. We will.
Well, i guess that explains my inspiration. One of those runaway trains of thought.
Monday, May 4, 2009
From Ho Chi Minh to Hongkong: Treasure Island
Night, on the MTR.
We boarded the train as the China immigrants did, with our huge backpacks for their archaic blue-red-white striped bags. It brought us across the New Territories, deep into the heart of Hongkong Island.
Hongkong, one of the world's most populous and yet prosperous countries, a cosmopolitan business and cultural hub, a dream destination for many. And happily, we were not disappointed :)
Tai Po Market, Sha Tin, Kowloon Tong, Tsim Sha Tsui, the station names rung our imagination from countless TVB dramas. An hour later, Wan Chai. We chugged our bags outside, and met with Zhiyang, an old classmate of mine. He still looked the same, wearing specs and sporting the impeccably neat hairstyle. Zhiyang had kindly agreed to be our gracious host for the HK leg, and we'd be unimaginably grateful in the following week.
But first we saw the skyscrapers.
Towering above us from all sides, it was... awesome. Hongkong, the world's most vertical city with the most skyscrapers. They were everywhere, tall looming figures that flickered with gleaming skylights. I owe my parents this one for giving me non-claustrophobic genes.
What came next was no less amazing. ZY brought us into the service apartment where he and his parents stayed, a pseudo-condo with impressive security. Little did we expect that...we'd be treated to probably the most comprehensive hospitality we've ever had! His parents awed us with their wonderful care and help throughout our stay. They'd prepared clean, spacious beds for us and our own toilet for use, inclusive of towels, utensils, the works. We truly felt at home, or even better, as honored guests, in the full sense of the phrase.
We talked with ZY and his parents about the foods, attractions and idiosyncrasies of Hongkong, and were just brimming with excitement for the morning to arrive. Our planning slowly began for these five exhilarant days...
24th June, Tuesday.
Having found Civilization, we rediscovered dates.
But perhaps not our sense of time, seeing that we woke up late this morning. Auntie sent us off to the MTR with a couple of buns for breakfast. We chewed on it slowly as we decided on, firstly, to visit Ah Wang.
Remember Ah Wang (Xiao Xi Fu! Xiao Xi Fu!) from "Ah Wang Xin Zhuan"? We decided to visit the place Ah Wang lived, the suburban areas, most notably Sha Tin. Yet we walked out of Sha Tin MTR into a shopping mall. The biggest, most luxurious shopping mall we've ever been to. To illustrate: it even has its own Peanuts-themed playground, Snoopy's World! After indulging in a little camwhoring, we came to our senses and began exploring the surrounding suburban areas.
Nearby, a wet market. They had quail meat for sale, like miniature versions of chicken meat. Besides that, it was really similar to SG wet markets. We walked all around, to the Heritage Museum, a couple of famous temples (i'm not a big fan), and to the Tseng Housing Estate. There, Tseng Zhi Wei lives with his daughter! I saw him leave in a taxi, and Jason believed me for five seconds.
We hopped over to a park, to a pretty pond, strolled along the canal-esque river, saw the famous HK domestic bus(!) and, to satisfy our higher interests in learning, toured the City Hall, then the Library.
All this while we were seeing things new and interesting, old and familiar, in the suburban 'heartlands' of Hongkong. We even had a glimpse at the HK national flower, the beautiful Orchid Bauhinia.
Next stop: University.
It wasn't until we reached there and quizzed a couple of locals that we found out this wasn't the University of HK! But the Chinese University of HK is a close second when it comes to world academic rankings. Not to mention gradients and contours... CUHK beats NTU hands down! We walked, hiked, mountaineered up its steep roads and nature paths to its various faculties. An interesting one was 'Theology', for budding Saint Augustines perhaps. We took a tea break at the cafe at the top, sniffing in the air of hoi polloi like any other uni student in HK. The view was magnificent.
Melding into the population, we took a local shuttle bus down, and met Zhiyang and family for dinner near Wan Chai. ZY's parents gave us a generous treat for our Chinese five-course dinner at a favorite restaurant. After that, it's time for...
Nightlife! Hongkong's most famous haunt for drinking, clubbing and dining is undoubtedly Lan Kwai Fong. Expatriates thronged the place, as well as men and women dressed to the nines. Our outfits was an outrageous shirt-and-jeans, but having braved all contrasting social settings in Vietnam and China, we now strolled around shamelessly in ease :)
The place swarmed with bars, restaurants, clubs and billiard pubs. We entered a club and spent awhile dancing and drinking inside for a moderate fee. Then we headed to Tsim Sha Tsui, which had a vibrant night scene too. The night passed almost too quickly with a couple of interesting experiences...
...and then we were back in Wan Chai. Our newfound hobby awaited: arcade gaming! Arcade games were incredibly cheap here, and driving and guitar/drum simulation games were, quite simply, spammable. We had a great time racing each other at this Initial D game. It's been such a long time since arcade games felt so enjoyable, ha.
Past midnight, and sleep beckoned. We returned to our cozy beds.
As the winds blew outside, i looked through the windows. Skyscrapers stared back at me as if it were perfectly normal. I sniffed, and snuck under the sheets.
We slept sweetly, soundly. Our first day on Treasure Island had ended, but the next day impatiently awaits.
We boarded the train as the China immigrants did, with our huge backpacks for their archaic blue-red-white striped bags. It brought us across the New Territories, deep into the heart of Hongkong Island.
Hongkong, one of the world's most populous and yet prosperous countries, a cosmopolitan business and cultural hub, a dream destination for many. And happily, we were not disappointed :)
Tai Po Market, Sha Tin, Kowloon Tong, Tsim Sha Tsui, the station names rung our imagination from countless TVB dramas. An hour later, Wan Chai. We chugged our bags outside, and met with Zhiyang, an old classmate of mine. He still looked the same, wearing specs and sporting the impeccably neat hairstyle. Zhiyang had kindly agreed to be our gracious host for the HK leg, and we'd be unimaginably grateful in the following week.
But first we saw the skyscrapers.
Towering above us from all sides, it was... awesome. Hongkong, the world's most vertical city with the most skyscrapers. They were everywhere, tall looming figures that flickered with gleaming skylights. I owe my parents this one for giving me non-claustrophobic genes.
What came next was no less amazing. ZY brought us into the service apartment where he and his parents stayed, a pseudo-condo with impressive security. Little did we expect that...we'd be treated to probably the most comprehensive hospitality we've ever had! His parents awed us with their wonderful care and help throughout our stay. They'd prepared clean, spacious beds for us and our own toilet for use, inclusive of towels, utensils, the works. We truly felt at home, or even better, as honored guests, in the full sense of the phrase.
We talked with ZY and his parents about the foods, attractions and idiosyncrasies of Hongkong, and were just brimming with excitement for the morning to arrive. Our planning slowly began for these five exhilarant days...
24th June, Tuesday.
Having found Civilization, we rediscovered dates.
But perhaps not our sense of time, seeing that we woke up late this morning. Auntie sent us off to the MTR with a couple of buns for breakfast. We chewed on it slowly as we decided on, firstly, to visit Ah Wang.
Remember Ah Wang (Xiao Xi Fu! Xiao Xi Fu!) from "Ah Wang Xin Zhuan"? We decided to visit the place Ah Wang lived, the suburban areas, most notably Sha Tin. Yet we walked out of Sha Tin MTR into a shopping mall. The biggest, most luxurious shopping mall we've ever been to. To illustrate: it even has its own Peanuts-themed playground, Snoopy's World! After indulging in a little camwhoring, we came to our senses and began exploring the surrounding suburban areas.
Nearby, a wet market. They had quail meat for sale, like miniature versions of chicken meat. Besides that, it was really similar to SG wet markets. We walked all around, to the Heritage Museum, a couple of famous temples (i'm not a big fan), and to the Tseng Housing Estate. There, Tseng Zhi Wei lives with his daughter! I saw him leave in a taxi, and Jason believed me for five seconds.
We hopped over to a park, to a pretty pond, strolled along the canal-esque river, saw the famous HK domestic bus(!) and, to satisfy our higher interests in learning, toured the City Hall, then the Library.
All this while we were seeing things new and interesting, old and familiar, in the suburban 'heartlands' of Hongkong. We even had a glimpse at the HK national flower, the beautiful Orchid Bauhinia.
Next stop: University.
It wasn't until we reached there and quizzed a couple of locals that we found out this wasn't the University of HK! But the Chinese University of HK is a close second when it comes to world academic rankings. Not to mention gradients and contours... CUHK beats NTU hands down! We walked, hiked, mountaineered up its steep roads and nature paths to its various faculties. An interesting one was 'Theology', for budding Saint Augustines perhaps. We took a tea break at the cafe at the top, sniffing in the air of hoi polloi like any other uni student in HK. The view was magnificent.
Melding into the population, we took a local shuttle bus down, and met Zhiyang and family for dinner near Wan Chai. ZY's parents gave us a generous treat for our Chinese five-course dinner at a favorite restaurant. After that, it's time for...
Nightlife! Hongkong's most famous haunt for drinking, clubbing and dining is undoubtedly Lan Kwai Fong. Expatriates thronged the place, as well as men and women dressed to the nines. Our outfits was an outrageous shirt-and-jeans, but having braved all contrasting social settings in Vietnam and China, we now strolled around shamelessly in ease :)
The place swarmed with bars, restaurants, clubs and billiard pubs. We entered a club and spent awhile dancing and drinking inside for a moderate fee. Then we headed to Tsim Sha Tsui, which had a vibrant night scene too. The night passed almost too quickly with a couple of interesting experiences...
...and then we were back in Wan Chai. Our newfound hobby awaited: arcade gaming! Arcade games were incredibly cheap here, and driving and guitar/drum simulation games were, quite simply, spammable. We had a great time racing each other at this Initial D game. It's been such a long time since arcade games felt so enjoyable, ha.
Past midnight, and sleep beckoned. We returned to our cozy beds.
As the winds blew outside, i looked through the windows. Skyscrapers stared back at me as if it were perfectly normal. I sniffed, and snuck under the sheets.
We slept sweetly, soundly. Our first day on Treasure Island had ended, but the next day impatiently awaits.
From Ho Chi Minh to Hongkong: Joyous Garde
I awoke in darkness, and i awoke in light.
God, i must have laid on my bed for twenty-odd hours in my feverish dream. And finally we reached our destination.
Guangzhou. A bustling hub of sprawling buildings and urban jungle, among the largest and most populated cities in China. We filtered through the living masses, looking for a nearby hotel. We found a cheap one hidden in an alley that winded off and away from sight, due more to poor planning than any concerns of private serenity. We washed up and left the place in a huff to catch an appointment.
The GZ Metro, reminiscent of the one in Taiwan. We took the train to Chen Ancestral Hall, where a familiar face awaited us. Joy! Literally. She had been on an internship in an industrial park near GZ, and came out on the weekend to meet us.
We had a look at the ancestral hall, built from the donations of scholars and featuring porcelain, jade, sculptures, paintings and antique furniture collections. Times like this, you'd wish you were an antiquarian.
The three of us ate at a nearby restaurant, catching up about our travels and sharing about our experience in China. Can't remember the food though.
We cabbed to Shang Xia Jiu Jie, literally Up Down Ninth Street, a famous shopping district and teenager hangout. We bought a load of cheap clothes (which tended to have color run-offs back home) and snacked on cheap, delicious foods.
Not me, though. The stomachache just grew worse and vomiting fits came often. At times i could barely speak. Luckily Jason hit it off well with Joy, and i was glad enough to look at their sandals to keep following.
Wish my stomach was strong enough for China's street fare. It felt sickening, my stomach churning inside out. I barely remembered anything else. But we said our goodbye to Joy after we (they) had some supper, and headed back to the hotel.
A good night's sleep later...
... and we were off and running again, this time taking a train to Shenzhen. China's first and most successful Special Economic Zone, Shenzhen had a modern, ordered feel to it, more than any other city in China.
We headed straight for its shopping districts, of course! Lao Jie, the Old Streets, and Dong Men Ding, SZ's counterpart to the taiwanese version. They offered fashion-wear priced higher than GZ, so it was mostly window-shopping for us. But the variety made it exciting and tantalizing for us to explore, and we scoured the place for good buys.
After fully satisfied our shopping thrills, we crossed over the border to Hongkong...
Sanitized toilets and clean food, here we come!
God, i must have laid on my bed for twenty-odd hours in my feverish dream. And finally we reached our destination.
Guangzhou. A bustling hub of sprawling buildings and urban jungle, among the largest and most populated cities in China. We filtered through the living masses, looking for a nearby hotel. We found a cheap one hidden in an alley that winded off and away from sight, due more to poor planning than any concerns of private serenity. We washed up and left the place in a huff to catch an appointment.
The GZ Metro, reminiscent of the one in Taiwan. We took the train to Chen Ancestral Hall, where a familiar face awaited us. Joy! Literally. She had been on an internship in an industrial park near GZ, and came out on the weekend to meet us.
We had a look at the ancestral hall, built from the donations of scholars and featuring porcelain, jade, sculptures, paintings and antique furniture collections. Times like this, you'd wish you were an antiquarian.
The three of us ate at a nearby restaurant, catching up about our travels and sharing about our experience in China. Can't remember the food though.
We cabbed to Shang Xia Jiu Jie, literally Up Down Ninth Street, a famous shopping district and teenager hangout. We bought a load of cheap clothes (which tended to have color run-offs back home) and snacked on cheap, delicious foods.
Not me, though. The stomachache just grew worse and vomiting fits came often. At times i could barely speak. Luckily Jason hit it off well with Joy, and i was glad enough to look at their sandals to keep following.
Wish my stomach was strong enough for China's street fare. It felt sickening, my stomach churning inside out. I barely remembered anything else. But we said our goodbye to Joy after we (they) had some supper, and headed back to the hotel.
A good night's sleep later...
... and we were off and running again, this time taking a train to Shenzhen. China's first and most successful Special Economic Zone, Shenzhen had a modern, ordered feel to it, more than any other city in China.
We headed straight for its shopping districts, of course! Lao Jie, the Old Streets, and Dong Men Ding, SZ's counterpart to the taiwanese version. They offered fashion-wear priced higher than GZ, so it was mostly window-shopping for us. But the variety made it exciting and tantalizing for us to explore, and we scoured the place for good buys.
After fully satisfied our shopping thrills, we crossed over the border to Hongkong...
Sanitized toilets and clean food, here we come!
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