Season Finale

Too long a hiatus from everything!

These past few weeks of free time have turned me into something between a bookworm and a hermit... spending my time on long walks and meditation, or poring into varied books and classics. Some of the great titles I liked: American classic "The Great Gatsby" where I empathized deeply with the main character, enigmatic "The Master of Go" (played out the game with the book), and casual read "The Idea of Perfection". I even had time for "the Hunger Games", but I found it, well, meh.

Since my birthday last week (Friday the 13th, terrific..), I have also set resolutions to lead a healthier lifestyle, trying to get habits going like a good ol' morning swim exercise or settling into bed early. 'Trying' is still an overstatement of my efforts though...haha.

Anyway, happy birthday to myself! It's a much more lonely occasion this year. I remember last year when the gang in Munich gave me a surprise celebration, with my most valued presents being a kimchi instant noodles from my korean frens...haha! Those were the halcyon days... the taste of European culture that will always stay with me.

Right now it's the last exam season for me and my cohort of frens. It brings back the memories of me, JY and Maran. We survived through countless challenges, poring over past exams in the 54 tv lounge, lamenting and laughing over our mistakes after every paper, celebrating at every occasion. I think of the times with Alvin and gang as well, with my best roomie locking my laptop away and protecting myself from it, haha. And the posters i put up around the block every exam season, to motivate everyone around me (to unknown effect).

Who'd have known that stressful times could be happy, as well?

More than just the exam season, these past four years have been the most memorable time of my life. A great developmental journey where I have laughed and cried, loved and hated, and lived and learned like never before. A time of venturing into unknown territories, throwing myself headlong into crazy adventures with some of the best people I have ever met.

Being block manager and knowing a hundred residents by name/ Serendipitous hall conversations deep into the night/ Organizing tons of events/ Fighting hard with the softball team /Training as a cheerleader / Building the FOC vision with the committee/ The longest days and nights during the camp itself/ Brawling with e rugby guys/ AD, AC, /... and that was just hall. 

In school it was like... Learning coding. Oh, the agony/ Riding with the wind on bikes/ Hours in the lab creating magic/ Trying startup competitions/ Groupwork with diverse characters/ Tough internships/ Doing events for Board games society, NBS exchange club/ Fishing at kelongs/ Exchange. Crazy, crazy exchange.     

This last season will be more lonely than usual. But somehow... images of these past four years seem to come alive, and surround me in comforting thoughts. The thought that time will pass, people will graduate, and friends may separate... But memories, memories are forever.

And suddenly I feel i am no longer alone.

Horizons

Back after a long hiatus!

It has been a refreshing blast of activity since the exams ended. I am actually hugely more busy now than during the exam period! I guess that hints at the mindset i hold towards taking exams now... haha. I studied maybe eight, nine hours total for each paper? The rest of the time, I have been indulging my passions...studying Go, reading Herman Hesse's books, taking long brooding walks, thinking about what I want to do.

After returning from overseas, I have been enjoying my new perspective on life.

Things like appreciating the simpler things in life, thinking up little projects like creative presents for friends, taking time out to admire a thunderstorm, and slowly chewing my breakfast despite being late for lessons.

Understanding and forgiving our weaknesses, observing people for who they are, and consciously giving praise and encouragement to close ones around me.

Dissolving my temper and negative feelings away, being more patient with things, seeing things from different angles, asking more questions about everything, and being thankful and amazed to know the answers.

Making dinner at home a priority, to talk more to my brothers, to cry more during sad movies, and laugh more during funny ones.

Taking charge in projects, learning to pay attention towards my teammates rather than the task at hand, giving myself hard chores and being hardworking for once... and rewarding myself after :)

Well.

Graduation is coming up soon, and job searching has been fruitless so far... ha. And i have just myself to blame... having applied to, say, 5 firms in total?

Guess i'm really stubborn about it. I swore myself to a life not of success, but of fulfillment. And I try to act on it. I realized that success-oriented, competitive environments or jobs that do not serve the greater part of society will not go with this. Hence I chose not to apply for financial, tobacco firms, etc.

I also aspire to be challenged in open and collaborative environments, to be pushed to reach new levels in my knowledge and skillsets... and so didn't apply for starting jobs in governmental, rigid organizations either. I'd love to hear from people who can share their experiences to refute my stereotyped views, but so far all my working friends have affirmed my beliefs in this.

Who's to say I won't conform to the rest of society and 'wake up' to reality? Nine out of ten friends around me absolutely adore bank jobs. The remaining one is already working in it. I've seen encouraging movements in the U.S., but the odds are stacked against me here in the zeitgeist of Singapore. I just hope to retain the new perspectives and mindsets I gained from my european friends, and be brave enough to fight for them.

Keeping my paradoxical aim of doing something challenging in a less success-oriented environment in mind, I have been actively tossing out competitive thoughts and ambition from my mind, and yet pro-actively seeking out opportunities to challenge myself in a fun, fulfilled way.

I find that strangely, my initiative towards things has actually increased as a result, while trying to be driven not by achievement but by fulfilment. To be pushed not by thoughts of myself, but of others as well. To be excited not by the chance to earn money but the opportunity to make a difference.

I set myself a midterm goal: to set up a nonprofit tech firm, something like Convio.

In the short run, I've recently made contact with Singapore's governmental agency in charge of volunteer orgs in Singapore, and managed to convince them to do a collaborative project with me and maran!

I have a dream of regular people, each and everyone of us, volunteering every so often for causes we believe in, people we want to help. I have a dream of reaching out to people, especially youths, to create a kinder, more caring society. It's an easy dream as far as dreams go, isn't it?

At least i know Technology can do this.

We're creating a mobile application that serves as a platform for people to freely logon, check out the latest volunteering events, and signup for them. Users can search for causes they're interested in, for events they have the time and energy to help out in. The best part? After using it for sometime, the app will smartly recommend the user what he's interested in, based on a model the app has constructed of him. That's what I call Artificial Intelligence :)

And to engage the youths and keep users going back to the app, we're making use of fun and social elements, such as achievements and reward points, and sharing on FB and twitter to invite friends to join the same event. How's that for viral marketing?

I'm really aiming to create something impactful and useful to society. We're in the heat of the action now, and some of my friends are joining me in this too, though we're still tight of manpower. Hopefully our creation will nudge up Singapore's volunteerism rate by at least 0.5% within the next six months. I'd really love to see that realized!

I don't think I would have gone this far in this project without my new perspective in life gained from my exchange in europe. I like that the lessons you learn, you experiences you gain, the people you meet, the memories you hold from traveling...they don't disappear the moment you leave, but simmer in your mind slowly, absorbed into your soul like little bits of your life.

Ah, what am i saying? Doesn't that apply to everything in our lives? Ha...

Anyway, that's all I have to rant for now. I guess it's a good enough update for these few months! Well, time to get back to work on my coding.

P.s.

It feels so good to realize that life is long, and meant to be good.

Thank you for teaching me that.

A Networking Dinner

A break from my travel posts! I still have a backlog of travel logs from Copenhagen to Rome...it's going to last me till next year haha.

Tonight we attended a networking event with alumni from a couple of industries: a full range of financial sector players as well as the accounting Big 4. I roamed about and spoke to many different personalities... (one of whom was drunk, haha!)

I wanted to jot down some of my after-thoughts. Firstly, i felt that i could observe the 'comfort circles' they have built for themselves. It shows pretty clearly, from the things they talk about, the attitudes they portray towards certain issues such as career choices and development paths. It appears that based on the values and mindsets you hold towards the world around you, the same environment can provide different insights and knowledge for different people. You even absorb information selectively, to support your pre-existing perceptions perhaps. It's very interesting. I acquired some very valuable AND different advice from different personalities.

Of course, it makes a difference that they are from different industries. Yet I feel that these people have actually drifted towards the place where they feel they belong. And once they fit in snugly in these comfort circles, it reinforces their attitudes and perceptions towards things. I guess this is probably necessary for a stable, happy life: to find somewhere you belong, and mould your environment as you see fit. The environment may be simply the decor of a home (this is big for my dad!) or the way you make out the world to be.

I cherish my student life now, because we have the time to explore our passions and interest, to forge and reforge ourselves in a continual journey of learning and growth. To constantly be able to throw ourselves into new, uncomfortable places. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to go on exchange in Europe, and to travel alone around the US and Europe. I just had the intuition that i could not find the next stage of self-development in Singapore. And i was right. I wish that i am able to convey the lessons learnt in my travel logs.

In the meanwhile, though, I will continue striving on, in this next phase of learning. Let me pray that i will never fall into a comfort circle - yet. It's just too early to stop learning, to stop failing and making mistakes, to stop doing what i love, to stop having fun...

It's too early to stop living life the way you want it. Differently.

... and farewell, Steve Jobs. Your life will be forever remembered as an inspiration to all.