The fourth week of school already! And here i am, still mucking about life, not getting into anything seriously. School life is hectic as usual, and the projects are just beginning. I'm midway through the book 'Herzog' by Nobel prize-winner Saul Bellow, part of my commitment to read more and play less. A very intriguing story about the life drama of a man, but not the typical digestible novel. Besides all this, i spend quite a few nights sending applications off for overseas internships... so far, no results yet.
Been hosting Mouxuan over as a squatter, and it's pretty interesting. He's a smart and lively character, and we delve into both casual and serious discussions readily. I like how he asks me to get real and aim for high-salary careers ("Boy, wake up!! What is wrong with you!"). Nah, i'm still figuring life out at my own pace. I'll keep trying to get an internship that's totally fresh and exciting!
Now that i've tried out much of the activities in hall and school, it's finally time for me to fulfill my ideal university life: to read and enrich my knowledge of various fields, to browse through the treasure troves of books in school. I want to read up on philosophy, psychology, sociology, any chim-ology out there. There won't be another chance in the future to try out the life of an academic, after all. I don't think my experience here will be complete without this 'ivory tower'-ish facet of university, haha.
Two more years to go. I should stop being anxious about things, and really learn to be at peace with myself, with others, with the big, wide world out there. Learn to see the world for what it is, and live life like it is meant to be lived.
Please let me retain this wisdom with me as i enter the struggle for life, the working world.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Fifty-Four, 2010
Mmm... i like the feeling of being back in 54, hall eleven :)
So it's the third time already. Makes me feel kinda old when i think about it. I've had my fair share of wonderful moments here. Year one was getting to know the original '54 gang', doing all kinds of block activities and working really hard to get things going. They called me boss all the time then, haha. Year two was about having a havoc time with WC, Alvin and JH, feeling free to do what we wanted to do, as sophomores.
Yep, those were the good ol' days. Still, it feels pretty comfortable now in a single room. And just next to me are Lihhern, Luojun and William :) Time to get doorknocking soon to meet the other neighbours though! Good way to prep up for exchange next sem.
Still undecided on either Sweden or Germany. On one hand, the Swedish unis have this huge student-run organizations called "Nations", which are like a super-happening, all-encompassing version of hall JCRC or school committees. They organize everything from restaurants, cafes, pubs to libraries, community events, festivals! My buddy Erik from Uppsala tells me that his best friend is the chairperson of a Nation, which entails taking one full year off from studies, to manage it full-time. Now THAT is a heavy commitment!
On the other hand, Germany is cheaper to live in. And i haven't really looked at their student life there, which undoubtedly wouldn't lose out to the Swedish unis. But anyway, as long as it's Europe, i'm sure it'll be quite happening either ways :)
.. Damn it's lonely in a single-room haha. Miss the times with Alvin.
So it's the third time already. Makes me feel kinda old when i think about it. I've had my fair share of wonderful moments here. Year one was getting to know the original '54 gang', doing all kinds of block activities and working really hard to get things going. They called me boss all the time then, haha. Year two was about having a havoc time with WC, Alvin and JH, feeling free to do what we wanted to do, as sophomores.
Yep, those were the good ol' days. Still, it feels pretty comfortable now in a single room. And just next to me are Lihhern, Luojun and William :) Time to get doorknocking soon to meet the other neighbours though! Good way to prep up for exchange next sem.
Still undecided on either Sweden or Germany. On one hand, the Swedish unis have this huge student-run organizations called "Nations", which are like a super-happening, all-encompassing version of hall JCRC or school committees. They organize everything from restaurants, cafes, pubs to libraries, community events, festivals! My buddy Erik from Uppsala tells me that his best friend is the chairperson of a Nation, which entails taking one full year off from studies, to manage it full-time. Now THAT is a heavy commitment!
On the other hand, Germany is cheaper to live in. And i haven't really looked at their student life there, which undoubtedly wouldn't lose out to the Swedish unis. But anyway, as long as it's Europe, i'm sure it'll be quite happening either ways :)
.. Damn it's lonely in a single-room haha. Miss the times with Alvin.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Hall XI FOC 2010: A Happy Ending
Yep, all's well that ends well.
Despite the overwhelming stress, the persistent sense of weariness, and even threats and complaints from the public throughout the week, we made it. And we made it, not because of some sheer stroke of luck, but because of one whole year of drive, planning and commitment to a single vision: to create the most fun and memorable camp ever.
It wasn't perfect. But i thought it was pretty damn good. And i messaged each and every comm member, to thank them for their integral role in our success. Here's their replies, just to remember them by:
GLs...
-Haha nah la dun mention. That's my role :) Thanks for ur effort too, being a pillar of support for both freshies n seniors!
-It's all worth it! =) And sebast, thank you for spurring us on from the pre-FOC period to during the camp itself, really appreciate it! It's not easy to make decisions, and on top of that decision that will affect evry1 that is involved in FOC. but you've pulled through and make this camp a success! Thank you =)
-Yup :) no worries!! Same for u sebas! Saw tt u were super tired during the camp! N it's finally over now...Have a good rest!!
Programmers...
-Hey sebas, i didn't do much :) thank you for letting me be part of it. :)
- :) thanks for helping me out too during the camp
-Haha..yeah we put in alot of effort but was quite worried too..lucky was able to get help frm many ppl throughout n in e end everything was great! :) yep! c u in hall! :D
-Lolx welcome is thx to jy, wk and A who lead me well XD
-Thanks favourite chieftain! Hahaha. Thanks for always sending us encouraging emails and overseeing everything and being so calm all the time :)
-I had fun during foc! Thanks sebas, for making the difference in this yr's foc which is a major success! I'm sure everyone enjoyed themselves alot! =) thanks!!
-Hey no problem well I'm glad to help out =)
-Haha it's ok, thanks for tolerating my bad temper sometimes. Just glad it ended with minimum hiccups. Really wasn't my sole efforts.. everyone made it work tgt, and most thankful is the log team, they played the major part in the camp, without A and his team there will not be foc too!
-Thank you for your personalised message :) I did try my best to help but time and money were pressing concerns. It has been a great foc though and you were a wonderful chair.
-The pleasure's all mine! :-) it's been an honour to work alongside someone as competent as you.. No regrets joining foc comm at all..
Logs...
-Dear sebas, you did it! You pulled off what I would think the best FOC hall 11 has had in recent years! There were new programs, new initiatives and everyone worked well with each other! Most importantly, I felt the freshies really enjoyed themselves this year! Great job forming, maintaining and keeping the entire comm focused on a common objective - to make FOC2010 the best FOC ever! :)
-Wa. Say until like so great. Feel so paiseh sia. But thx. Haha. No prob man. It's our job.
-haha thanks, juz doing my job lol
Others...
-Thanks for e compliment.. I know tat u appreciate my effort, n tat is sth tat i yearn most from my leaders.. Cya ard in hall 11..
-Hey. You're welcome! Everyone did their part and this foc turned out fantastic! You three did an awesome job. :)
-Thanks for the trust in us! U guys did a great job n foc was awesome ") glad to be part of the committee!
-Hi Sebas, great job on FOC, best one out of those I've experienced (and heard about). It was really great to be in the team - you made me feel like part of the family. Thanks again for everything and see you around in hall! :)
Despite the overwhelming stress, the persistent sense of weariness, and even threats and complaints from the public throughout the week, we made it. And we made it, not because of some sheer stroke of luck, but because of one whole year of drive, planning and commitment to a single vision: to create the most fun and memorable camp ever.
It wasn't perfect. But i thought it was pretty damn good. And i messaged each and every comm member, to thank them for their integral role in our success. Here's their replies, just to remember them by:
GLs...
-Haha nah la dun mention. That's my role :) Thanks for ur effort too, being a pillar of support for both freshies n seniors!
-It's all worth it! =) And sebast, thank you for spurring us on from the pre-FOC period to during the camp itself, really appreciate it! It's not easy to make decisions, and on top of that decision that will affect evry1 that is involved in FOC. but you've pulled through and make this camp a success! Thank you =)
-Yup :) no worries!! Same for u sebas! Saw tt u were super tired during the camp! N it's finally over now...Have a good rest!!
Programmers...
-Hey sebas, i didn't do much :) thank you for letting me be part of it. :)
- :) thanks for helping me out too during the camp
-Haha..yeah we put in alot of effort but was quite worried too..lucky was able to get help frm many ppl throughout n in e end everything was great! :) yep! c u in hall! :D
-Lolx welcome is thx to jy, wk and A who lead me well XD
-Thanks favourite chieftain! Hahaha. Thanks for always sending us encouraging emails and overseeing everything and being so calm all the time :)
-I had fun during foc! Thanks sebas, for making the difference in this yr's foc which is a major success! I'm sure everyone enjoyed themselves alot! =) thanks!!
-Hey no problem well I'm glad to help out =)
-Haha it's ok, thanks for tolerating my bad temper sometimes. Just glad it ended with minimum hiccups. Really wasn't my sole efforts.. everyone made it work tgt, and most thankful is the log team, they played the major part in the camp, without A and his team there will not be foc too!
-Thank you for your personalised message :) I did try my best to help but time and money were pressing concerns. It has been a great foc though and you were a wonderful chair.
-The pleasure's all mine! :-) it's been an honour to work alongside someone as competent as you.. No regrets joining foc comm at all..
Logs...
-Dear sebas, you did it! You pulled off what I would think the best FOC hall 11 has had in recent years! There were new programs, new initiatives and everyone worked well with each other! Most importantly, I felt the freshies really enjoyed themselves this year! Great job forming, maintaining and keeping the entire comm focused on a common objective - to make FOC2010 the best FOC ever! :)
-Wa. Say until like so great. Feel so paiseh sia. But thx. Haha. No prob man. It's our job.
-haha thanks, juz doing my job lol
Others...
-Thanks for e compliment.. I know tat u appreciate my effort, n tat is sth tat i yearn most from my leaders.. Cya ard in hall 11..
-Hey. You're welcome! Everyone did their part and this foc turned out fantastic! You three did an awesome job. :)
-Thanks for the trust in us! U guys did a great job n foc was awesome ") glad to be part of the committee!
-Hi Sebas, great job on FOC, best one out of those I've experienced (and heard about). It was really great to be in the team - you made me feel like part of the family. Thanks again for everything and see you around in hall! :)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
A Takeaway
My last day of internship here at UBS.
It’s been a very enriching nine weeks, I’ve been seeing a lot and talking to all kinds of people, from IT, front-office sales and traders, etc. And it’s really a massive world, where you can visibly see how things flow, how a great organization emerges from the amalgam of thousands of employees, with a keen focus honed through decades of good practice. And IT here is huge, it’s an intricate system of interlinked units, and each seems quite exciting and different to explore. And the culture is one that is very much results-oriented, very professional. My evaluation is full of Bs and Cs, haha.
I just presented my project to a panel of managers from around the world (through conference call), and when they commented on it, I could really feel how naïve and ignorant I was. An old quote from Socrates struck me then:
Though I might not come back to pick myself up where I fell, I’ll be sure to bring along this treasure trove of knowledge with me from now on.
It’s been a very enriching nine weeks, I’ve been seeing a lot and talking to all kinds of people, from IT, front-office sales and traders, etc. And it’s really a massive world, where you can visibly see how things flow, how a great organization emerges from the amalgam of thousands of employees, with a keen focus honed through decades of good practice. And IT here is huge, it’s an intricate system of interlinked units, and each seems quite exciting and different to explore. And the culture is one that is very much results-oriented, very professional. My evaluation is full of Bs and Cs, haha.
I just presented my project to a panel of managers from around the world (through conference call), and when they commented on it, I could really feel how naïve and ignorant I was. An old quote from Socrates struck me then:
One thing only I know, and that is I know nothing.To be honest it has to be disappointing, to see that the project you take pride in is just not good enough. Yet it really fires me up to strive to improve next time, to be more inquisitive, more humble, less inflexible, and less timid. I want to be passionate and driven about learning.
Though I might not come back to pick myself up where I fell, I’ll be sure to bring along this treasure trove of knowledge with me from now on.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Career advice
I find it very intriguing, how everyone always says the same old, infamously cliche piece of career advice, "Follow your heart, and do what you want to do."
And nobody does.
And nobody does.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
A small spot
It's my second last week at UBS.
Though I have not undergone as much pressure and work as the rest, I've tried to learn as much as i could. The sheer scale and magnitude of IT in UBS is really awe-inspiring, and revs up my interest in knowing how everything fits together into a trillion-dollar financial institution. Still, I don't have a clue in the world what i want to do for a career. And it definitely shows (and hurts) in my confidence, my drive factor. But there's no point thinking too much about it either, is there.
It's also my 3rd last week to FOC.
Things are going smoothly, with Shan, WC and i working hard along with the rest of the comm. We are really putting in great efforts to make sure we get every single aspect prepared for the camp. Even though it is always easy to get the mood high and for everyone to enjoy themselves during an orientation camp, I definitely want to minimize the trouble, the confusion, the last minute fumbling about behind the scenes. Every little detail we miss out now will cause someone to suffer down the road. That's the responsibility we uphold, and we have to take it very seriously.
At times i can't help but hate myself, for being so proud of my chairs and my comm one moment, and completely vexed and frustrated at not having things my way in the next. I'm clumsy at expressing myself, i'm so single-minded it blinds, and i regret every stubborn episode i get into. Please let me keep growing up. God knows i'm still a child.
And sometimes when i shed all these roles in my life, i feel so much self-doubt and emptiness. I can't help but wonder, What am I doing here? Where do i really belong?
... It must feel so good to be at ease with your life, to find a small little spot in this vast, diverse world where you can fit in happily.
Though I have not undergone as much pressure and work as the rest, I've tried to learn as much as i could. The sheer scale and magnitude of IT in UBS is really awe-inspiring, and revs up my interest in knowing how everything fits together into a trillion-dollar financial institution. Still, I don't have a clue in the world what i want to do for a career. And it definitely shows (and hurts) in my confidence, my drive factor. But there's no point thinking too much about it either, is there.
It's also my 3rd last week to FOC.
Things are going smoothly, with Shan, WC and i working hard along with the rest of the comm. We are really putting in great efforts to make sure we get every single aspect prepared for the camp. Even though it is always easy to get the mood high and for everyone to enjoy themselves during an orientation camp, I definitely want to minimize the trouble, the confusion, the last minute fumbling about behind the scenes. Every little detail we miss out now will cause someone to suffer down the road. That's the responsibility we uphold, and we have to take it very seriously.
At times i can't help but hate myself, for being so proud of my chairs and my comm one moment, and completely vexed and frustrated at not having things my way in the next. I'm clumsy at expressing myself, i'm so single-minded it blinds, and i regret every stubborn episode i get into. Please let me keep growing up. God knows i'm still a child.
And sometimes when i shed all these roles in my life, i feel so much self-doubt and emptiness. I can't help but wonder, What am I doing here? Where do i really belong?
... It must feel so good to be at ease with your life, to find a small little spot in this vast, diverse world where you can fit in happily.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
A path to happiness
Reached the midway mark of my internship at UBS!
Things are starting to look up. I have been enjoying frequent conversations with my mentor TM, about career, self-development and life. Plus I made some breakthroughs recently in my project, by getting to know the front-office sales and traders. Last but not least, I made fast friends with LY, Mr Sun et al :) Sadly XF has ended his work here... and the rest, too, will finish up in a couple of weeks. I will dearly miss them and their silly antics, the crappy BS.
Today I went to join the Hall 11 Devils for their skirmish with some old birds team from Ngee Ann poly. Struck out twice, totally out of it haha. Made a solid hit to third base tho. And as usual, my outfield drought continues. The last time any good ball came to me was at the interhalls two years ago. But anyway, today was more to show face and catch up with the softball peeps than anything else. I haven't had time to catch up with them for so long.
Afterwards, rushed to Khai's birthday party. Had fun with the rainbow befrienders and kids, who're still very much spirited and lively. Ruijie sure wore me down by the time i brought him home! Haha. Anyway, Khai received loads of presents! Pohlin and Huijiao even prepared a custom-made birthday card. His family also pampered us with some good food and ice-cream cakes. And we ended the night playing with sparklers in the lobby.
Sometimes i wonder if life were meant to be busying about meeting friends, fulfilling commitments ... or spent freely without a care in the world.
And which would be the true path to happiness.
Things are starting to look up. I have been enjoying frequent conversations with my mentor TM, about career, self-development and life. Plus I made some breakthroughs recently in my project, by getting to know the front-office sales and traders. Last but not least, I made fast friends with LY, Mr Sun et al :) Sadly XF has ended his work here... and the rest, too, will finish up in a couple of weeks. I will dearly miss them and their silly antics, the crappy BS.
Today I went to join the Hall 11 Devils for their skirmish with some old birds team from Ngee Ann poly. Struck out twice, totally out of it haha. Made a solid hit to third base tho. And as usual, my outfield drought continues. The last time any good ball came to me was at the interhalls two years ago. But anyway, today was more to show face and catch up with the softball peeps than anything else. I haven't had time to catch up with them for so long.
Afterwards, rushed to Khai's birthday party. Had fun with the rainbow befrienders and kids, who're still very much spirited and lively. Ruijie sure wore me down by the time i brought him home! Haha. Anyway, Khai received loads of presents! Pohlin and Huijiao even prepared a custom-made birthday card. His family also pampered us with some good food and ice-cream cakes. And we ended the night playing with sparklers in the lobby.
Sometimes i wonder if life were meant to be busying about meeting friends, fulfilling commitments ... or spent freely without a care in the world.
And which would be the true path to happiness.
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